When I awoke, Rebecca was plastered against me, Colleen had her arm thrown across her eyes, and was sleeping deep, and Benjamin was sitting beside me, patiently waiting for me to wake up and let him out. He took care of his need, and I did the same once he was safely back inside the house. Rather than risk waking the girls, I fed Ben, cleaned up the kitchen, made breakfast, cleaned up the kitchen again, and decided to see what, if any, tricks my puppy knew.I cut up some baby carrots and put them in a small bowl. Benjamin was excited as we went into the family room, and I sat in the floor and offered one carrot sliver to get his attention. He loved it and wanted more, so I double tapped the rug beside me, and Benjamin hopped over my legs and sat. I gave him another carrot slice.We worked on seven tricks using carrot slices as a reward for completing the trick, or trying hard. Benjamin loved playing, and he loved being rewarded. I alternated hugs and kisses with carrot slices, and he. "Why? Why did you break up?" The age difference. The stages of our lives. The fears and inabilities. Our own doubts. The inequality of what we each brought to the relationship. My inexperience." They were all reasons. No one thing had come between us, but everything had conspired against us. I looked at the sketch in my hands not knowing whether I could go on. All the background was there. The patterns, fruit, props were all complete in the sketch. But the figure—Rita—was still missing."Were you thinking of her when you made love to me?" It was only a whisper, but I heard and could not answer. Rita's voice rose slightly to be sure I could hear her, but still below her normal conversational tone. "Did you think of her breasts when you caressed my skin? Did you smell her scent when you went down on me? Did you feel her lips when I sucked you? Hear her sighs when I came?"It was too much. I dropped the sketchbook with its incomplete figure on the floor and my pencils scattered around me..
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